Ever since the age of seven, I have wanted to go to Japan. The passion started because of my father, who traveled all over the world with Motorola company. When he returned from a six month stay in Asia, he gave me my first yukata and ever since that day, I have wanted to visit this country. I did the usual things that children do when they have an interest: obsess over it. I wrote reports and did research on the internet that suddenly had exploded into a network of information and people I could learn from readily. When I went into middle school, I discovered anime and manga, which are Japanese animations and comics, and fell deeply into that world of culture and art. At that time, my interest in the language bloomed and I began trying to study on my own, attempting to read comics and magazines in complete characters. Unfortunately, my studies only went so far, even through high school, and I had to be content with knowing that in college, I would study it officially. And, in college, I would go abroad.
There was no room for any argument. Thankfully, my mother and stepfather supported my decisions and never said no to my accumulation of Japanese textbooks, comics, and DVDs. When I told them I would be going to the university in my hometown, I think they were happy I decided to stay close to home. I was happy for this as well, but even more so because I knew about the great program this university offered in conjunction with three other Japanese universities.
I decided in my first year that I would wait until my junior year to go abroad. I wanted a few years of study before I went, because I did not want to struggle with the language when I went to Japan. I wanted to go and enjoy every moment of it.
So I worked hard and waited until the spring quarter of my junior year. I bought my ticket. I got my visa. I had my bags packed...
And then disaster struck on March 11, 2011 at 2:45. The earthquake was a 9.0, causing a large tsunami that devastated the northern prefectures of Japan. Sendai was under water. Small coastal towns were wiped out. Over 11,000 people died or went missing. The country was shaken, literally, by this event. Their courage was tested when the nuclear issue arose. The Fukushima-daiichi plant had been damaged by the quake and partially flooded. Nuclear waste was leaking out of the structure: into the ground, water, air, everywhere.
My university cancelled my study abroad seven days before we were supposed to leave.
I cried selfishly, because I thought this was a personal attack against my dream. I have never had the best of luck, and this was just another example to add to my expansive list. But then I had to stop crying, because I realized that people were dead or living in shelters and the entire country was suffering because of what happened, not just me.
So I had to wait.
Waiting is so, so hard, when you wanted something and were so close you could taste it, only to have it snagged away seconds before you were about to jump headfirst right into it. And now, here I am again, just eleven days away. I fear I will get another call, saying once again that there were complications and they're very sorry but...
However, I have to stay positive. If I dwell in the negative, I know I'll be torn apart, even more so than if I have it ripped away from me again. So I'm packing slowly and waiting until the last minute to say my goodbyes, playing it safe. I'm not excited, not yet, because of that whole "once bitten, twice shy" sort of thing. I want to jump up and down and be ecstatic, but I'm going to have to wait until the airport to do that.
(No, but really, I'm very excited, just afraid to show it.)
And there are a lot of things to get done before then. I need socks. I need to get a hair cut. I need to eat massive amounts of BWW because I know I'll miss the taste of their juicy wings and a cold Dos Equis within the first month.
Once I have done these things and the weekend has arrived, then I can start to be ridiculously and annoyingly excited to everyone I meet.
L
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